When you figure out how to take charge of your life, you begin doing what you want, when you want, where you want, with whom you want, as much as you want. Here are some ways to begin to do just that and start your very own self-coaching plan.
Do you ever feel like you’re living someone else’s life? We often think we know who we are because we’re living a certain way. The truth is that our lives don’t dictate who we are – who we are must dictate our lives. Know yourself and this enables you to grow yourself.
When we feel like spectators to our own lives, we become resigned. We “go with the flow” rather than taking decisive action – but our brains actually need to be challenged. Set goals that are difficult but achievable. Make sure they’re specific and write them down. Leverage your brain’s natural need for growth to take charge of your life.
Instead of being distracted by all the areas where you want to take charge of your life, focus on one area at a time. When you develop focus, you’re able to see solutions where you might have missed them before. You’re also able to manage your anxiety, which is a product of overanalyzing all the “what ifs” that may never happen.
How does gratitude play into learning how to take charge of your life? Imagine your future life is exactly as you want it to be: If you’re not thankful for it, you’ll miss out on the outcomes you worked so hard to achieve. Instead of dwelling on how life isn’t’ measuring up, use your discontentment to stimulate action. You’ll feel happier in your current circumstances without losing the momentum you need to pursue bigger and better outcomes.
Follow the 80/20 Rule
The 80/20 rule is a valuable time management tool. When you’re working to take charge of your life, you want to make sure you’re concentrating 80% of your time, energy and attention on the tasks and relationships that matter most. To put the 80/20 rule into action, ask yourself: Am I taking charge of my life with X activity? Is it taking me closer to my purpose? If the answer is no, adjust your priorities.
Learning how to take charge of your life is much like an endurance race. If you approach it with a sprinter’s mindset, you’ll burn out before crossing the finish line. Stop trying to get everything done as quickly as possible and take time to “smell the roses.” When you slow down, you incorporate mindfulness into your actions, which sets the stage for pursuing meaningful goals.
Making changes in your life is going to create some discomfort since you’re making yourself vulnerable. You must work through the discomfort to know yourself more fully. From there, learning how to take charge of your life becomes more intuitive, since you’re operating out of your most deeply-held values.
Raise Your Standards
Any time you sincerely want to make a change, the first thing you must do is to raise your standards. Want a passionate relationship, less drama or a more fulfilling career? Don’t accept anything less. You may be alone for a while, or even lose friends. Draw on your inner strength and remember that you’re working toward taking charge of your life.
Everything in your life is a result of your decisions – not your past, not other people’s actions, not the state of the market. If you don’t reach a goal, be honest about why. Learn to recognize your patterns in relationships so you can free yourself of them. Only when you take full responsibility for all of your choices can you take charge of your life.
While on this self-coaching journey check out my upcoming book: Take Charge of You: How Self-Coaching Can Transform Your Life and Career, co-written by globally recognized Performance Coach, Jason Goldsmith.
Check out our podcast How Leaders Lead which gives you access to the top leaders in the world. In each episode, I sit down for real leadership conversations with leaders in business, sports, entertainment, and life to talk about how they get such good things done.